The Isles of Emberdark Review
Or... When Sanderson Finally Gave Me Spaceships
It started with a simple question. "Does Sanderson write about dragons?" My brother paused. Blinked. "Uh... no? No, wait... yes. There are dragons. Isles of Emberdark." And we were off. Sprinting through that one.
And I do mean a sprint. Where Way of the Kings took a lifetime to suffer through, and Mistborn was a breeze I was pulled along like an allomancer finding an iron spire, I was able to finish Isles of Emberdark in... a month? Two months? I don't know if that's because it was a shorter book. I'd have to look at the word and page counts to know that for sure. But it might be because suddenly, halfway through the book, there were aliens. Aliens in spaceships.
Well sir, you had my curiosity at dragons… then my attention with spaceships.
It's probably no surprise that Way of the Kings was a slog for me. It's a slow, boring, and unhurried telling of fantastical proportions. I had WAY more fun doing the Cosmere RPG story. I mean, major spoilers if you hadn't read to book three of Stormlight Archives, but let's be honest, I probably was never going to go back to Kaladin and Shallan. The Blackthorn doing Blackthorn things? Sure. But those two? Eh, not so much.
But oddly, Sixth of Dusk, which... gah, the names on this planet, at least Vathi is a name I can recall and it's probably cause my Cosmere character's name was Vithui… so you know same energy... was a character I could get behind. Maybe it's because like Dusk I can and often do go an entire day without clearing my throat. I know it's weird. For someone who writes so much and when I do talk I've been told I'm very verbose and quite loquacious, I don't know why or how it happens, but if need be I can become an extrovert. But I used to be so quiet my dogs would often forget I was there until I cleared my throat.
So having Dusk surviving the death island and then deciding to go up to the warp, I'm sorry, Shadesmar, didn't seem that bad. A man who questions if he's going to get himself killed just because he lost his bird... that hits pretty hard having just lost my dog only six months ago. And then Starling. Dear gods, I almost put the story down when it came back to her in the spaceship.
And I realized why. Starling is one of my characters. Almost to a T. And I don't think I was ready to see one of my main female characters walking around in someone else's book. Now granted, I tend to put a lot of myself into my characters, my alpha reader points it out CONSTANTLY, and we edit out most of the egregious nature of how devilishly awesome I am. I would hate to be accused of more Mary Sueing than necessary. Wait… am I a clone of Sanderson? Someone has some splainin to do. Vathi, Vithui? Starling…
Anyway, tangents aside. That's a weird thing, seeing yourself reflected in someone else's work when you weren't expecting it. It's not a complaint. It's more like looking into a mirror you didn't know was in the room and having to decide if you're going to keep staring or look away. I kept reading. Eventually. But it took me a minute.
My brother was interested in how I would take Dragon Valhalla, or whatever the proper name is, where these creatures who aren't gods but are basically gods sit around and just decide to fade away. And I'm like, why in the hell would you just sit there? "Oh, I've been around since the shattering of gods when the main main baddie from Way of the Kings was revealed and I've decided it's time to just sit on this sandy beach and stare at the waves." I mean, I get it. I just want to relax and chill too. But until I fade away because my magic is so potent it will just linger? Yeah, that's a no from me, dawg. If you're going to sit there moping and doing nothing then just go out in a blaze of glory. Fight the Cthulian horrors in Shadesmar. Call out one of those Arcanist guys and be like, "Hey, wanna see something cool?" And when they say "hell yeah" the dragon goes "Hold my beer" and launches itself at the creature. Will you die? Oh, probably. But you were just going to fade away into nothingness. And I watched The Neverending Story. I'd rather go out to the Gmork than The Nothing.
But here's the thing. While Starling is one of my characters, I was more interested in the bird guys' home planet. The Apparatus? That sounds awesome. Who doesn't want to know more about The Cell? Oh wait... scratch that, those later movies were pretty terrible. And when Dusk meets the sentient hive of insects, he names her "God of Bugs" and she's apparently ok with that. Chrysalis was pretty cool in her own way. My brother was like, "Didn't you have one of those?" and I was ashamed to admit that yes, I had something similar in an RPG and I haven't done much with her since.
But then we find out that the Mistborn folks are the scourge of the cosmos... or is it the Way of the Kings jerks? They're both at war with one another and vying for control of the universe. And I didn't realize the masked guys were the Mistborn until they basically were like, "Yeah, we throw down things to push and pull in space." And I was just like... are you fraggin' kidding me? You throw down huge chunks of iron or whatever your star fighters use to zip around in space? How. Utterly. Stupid.
See, the smarter way than throwing out a zone of these is to have them mounted on the ship, shot out and retractable, push and pull for micromaneuvers as needed. You don't dump your propulsion system overboard and hope you can still steer. That's like throwing your car's transmission out the window and expecting to change lanes. But hey, Sanderson wants to build Star Trek's Federation from start to finish. And I guess the Mistborn folks are what... Romulans? Because clearly the Way of the Kings guys are Klingons.
But anyway... Dusk. Dusk eats worm paste and gets powers and it's like... ewww. I mean, don't judge me, but I've had dried crickets and mealworms and it was like popcorn and I genuinely want to try freshly cooked crickets and such, but you can't find that in the US. But glowing worm paste is a decision tree that I don't think I'd have climbed.
But the thing I really want to get on is that Sanderson, who is known for his world building, has Arthur C. Clarke levels of tech here. And it's the stupid tech. The tech that just doesn't work. The tech that turns the snake eel thing's blood into liquid to drink. Yeah, you read that right.
So here's the thing about fish and salt water, and yes I did look this up because I will not be the one handwaving on this hill. Saltwater fish are in a constant war against dehydration. The ocean is saltier than their bodies, so water is always trying to leave them through osmosis. To compensate, they drink seawater constantly. Their gills have specialized cells called chloride cells that actively pump the sodium and chloride back out. Their kidneys produce barely any urine, and what little they do make is concentrated to the gills (pun intended) to conserve every drop of water they can. A saltwater fish's blood runs at roughly a third the salinity of the surrounding ocean. The fish is basically a living desalination plant. Its entire biology is dedicated to keeping its insides less salty than the water it swims in.
Which means Sanderson's magic blood-to-water gadget isn't just filtering out salt. It's converting a complex biological fluid, plasma, proteins, metabolic waste, blood cells, the works, into potable drinking water. The salt is almost the least of your problems. You're drinking what amounts to magically processed blood soup. So old Dusky there killed a snake thing, somehow, sliced it open, bled the thing into jugs or whatever, and then used the magic converter to give himself drinking water. From blood. That was already fighting to not be salty in the first place.
Now. This is a book with a ghost. A woman who is a dragon bound into a human frame. A bird man. A colony of insects that has lived 6,000 years and resembles humans that can do all sorts of stuff like be telepathic with a bite, and has grown sets of bugs to mimic the crew's voice. And the blood water thing is where I was like, "Dude, just say you handwavium your stuff."
Now, did that stop me from reading it? No, it did not. And I finished it in record time. But I just want you to know, dear and loyal reader, I caught it and I'm here to call it out.
I'll die on that hill. If you're going to world build, do it correctly.
Incorrigibly yours,
J.E. Flint











